Decisions Aren’t Permanent: Consider Your Present & Future Self

Decisions Aren’t Permanent, You Can Change Your Mind or Try Again

Some people treat all decisions like they are permanent decisions or “do or die.” You do not need to be “married” to all of your decisions. Just because you spent 10 or 20 years doing something does not mean you are stuck and have to keep doing it. What about your future self and your future years? Just because we made a decision to do something in the past doesn’t mean we have to villianize it if we decide we do not like it anymore.

You do not need to make a past relationship or decision a bad story just because it didn’t work out or go they way you wanted. You could have enjoyed things in the moment at the time and things changed and realize you moved on or changed your mind. We do not need to look back on it with a negative story. If you invested in something and it did not work out, you do not need to be bitter or dwell on it. A bad story about it does not serve you.

It can be something you did for that time and learned. It could have been your life for awhile, but now you moved on to your next life or next career or moved away. Let’s let change be good. Change is normal. You experienced and learned and tried something and found out it was not for you and you moved on to the next thing. It is healthy to do that.

We also do not have to keep doing it if it is not making us currently happy. If you change jobs or move, it does not have to be permanent.

Maybe you were friends with a neighbor and had a falling out and they move, but you were friends for a time and learned and grew together and that time together mattered at the time. Now that they moved on, there are new experiences waiting for both of you.

You are allowed to try things and experiment and change if you do not like it.

Treating everything like it is permanent puts so much pressure on us and limits us.

Your Future Self Matters Too

Your future years matter more than any past decision. You are not stuck, you are not behind, and aren’t obligated to keep living a story that no longer fits. Every moment gives you permission to begin again. Choose what supports your wellbeing now, and let the rest fall away.

Live in the present moment. The past is constructed by the mind and often ill rememebered.

We cannot re-experience the past except in our minds and studies show we all remember the same past experiences differently and notice different details in the present moment. We can only focus on so many sensory details at once and the brain filters out extra details, so we all have a different memory and experience. When we look back at the past, studies have shown our minds change the past every time it goes to reconstruct the memory. It is not an easy task to truly remember even though we think we remember.

We tend to dwell on something that is not helping us anyway. We cannot re-experience the past except in our mind.

The future does not exist. The future is always becomes the present and the future is hypothetical.

When you notice yourself clinging to an old decision or replaying an old story, pause and come back to the moment in front of you.

Ask: What would help me feel better right now? What small action can I tatakeYour life is shaped by these small present choices, not by the past. You can always adjust, redirect, and choose differently.

Make Your Present Moment Matter

We can instead focus on what is in front of us and making the present moment as positive of an experience as we can. We are our thoughts. Our thoughts attract actions and experiences.

If we focus on the present moment and what would make it feel the best, we can transform the moment to make it more comfortable, more productive, or bring more joy.

I like to focus on my environment, food, goals, what I see, what I want to do today, what I want to create in my life, what I want to do with the current moment, and it helps shape my day.

How can I feel better in this moment?

Do you just need to breathe and exhale?

Is something worrying you? Is there a person to contact if you need to ask them a question to put your worry to rest? Take an action?

Do you need food or water and will it make your body feel better?

Would a walk help?

Would writing down briefly what is stressing you help?

Do I need a nap or energy? Or a Break?

Sometimes you are good and fine. What fun thing can I do? How can I do my work better?

Conclusion

You are allowed to grow, shift, and choose again. Life becomes lighter when you stop treating every decision like a lifelong commitment and when we stop taking life so seriously. Most things will pass by or not matter in 1 month or 5 years, etc. Many things are made worse just because we focused on them and dwelled on them. Most of our suffering is done in our minds about a “problem” because we focused on it and spent our time on it. Focusing on solutions is helpful or sometimes, worrying less and focusing on what we want to create and focusing on the good is more productive than focusing on problems. Focus on the present moment.

Let the past be a chapter, not a prison. Let the future be open instead of pressured. And let the present moment be the place where you make choices that feel good, supportive, and aligned with who you are today.

If you would like to read about “Stacking Short, Happy Moments in the Present Moment” Read this:

Live in the Present Moment & Focus on Making it as Pleasant as You Can