Sun. Jan 11th, 2026

Mental Health Skills

Mental Health Skills

Pattern Interrupts to Take Control of Your Thoughts and Reactions

A pattern interrupt is something that you do that can stop negative thoughts in their tracks.

Pattern interrupts can also help you make new habits and shift your automatic reactions to situations to help you react to stress in a way that makes you feel more in control of your reactions and help stop overthinking. Read more to gain control of your thoughts.

Here are some pattern interrupts that can be used when you feel overwhelmed:

• Go to the bathroom, at home or work

• Inhale to the count of 8 and exhale to the count of 8, 3 times or any similar breathing exercise.

• Refer to your list of what makes you happy or calms you down.

• Use headphones in the stall, read a book for just 2 or 3 minutes.

• Fidget with a stress ball.

• Read an article. Take your mind off of spiraling thoughts, reduce overthinking, and take a break from stress by spending a few minutes reading.

• Go on Pinterest to look at photos of trees or nature which have been proven by studies to calm us down. Just looking at pictures of trees helps calm your nervous system.

• Read a few pages in a book.

• Distract yourself from the emotion, not to avoid the emotion, but to calm down and handle your day. We will discuss how to process the emotion and deal with it in the evening when you are alone.

Try to move out of the spiraling thoughts or overwhelming emotion first in order to get some distance from it.

The goal here is to calm your body. It is not avoiding emotions.

Later is usually better for analyzing the cause of the overwhelm or negative thought spiral. Wait for when you have some distance from the emotion.

The pattern interrupt is there to distract you and stop the negative thought spirals.

More Pattern Interrupts:

• Smelling something

• Name 5 things you see, 4 things you hear, 3 things you feel, and 2 things you smell to bring your pre-frontal cortex back on board. That is the part of your brain that can problem solve. This can help shift off the lymbic system which is the part of the brain that can make you feel anxious and controls “fight or flight” reactions.

• Listening to music, or cold exposure like an ice cube or cold water.

• Washing your hands with warm water has been proven in studies to relax the nervous system.

• Stretch or walk for a few minutes.

• Change rooms or environments.

• Journal

• Stand in “superhero” pose for 2-10 minutes which has been proven in studies to reduce cortisol and raise testosterone.

• Force smile for 2 to 10 minutes.

• In studies, smiling has been shown to improve mood, even if it is fake. It sends signals to your body that everything is okay.

• Stand on 1 foot for 30 seconds.

• Count backwards from 100 subtracting 7 each time.

The goal is to reset your nervous system and regain control of your brain’s prefrontal cortex. These activities can shut off the part of the brain that lead to excessive thought spirals and help your mind be more focused again and ready to problem solve.

Thinking negatively for a long period of time can lead to chronic moods, increase depression or anxiety, and loss of joy.

You can release the thought by writing down 1 or 2 sentences and review those thoughts later in the day when you have some time to yourself.

Track your thoughts for a week.

When you reread your thoughts, notice any recurring thoughts and patterns and try to find the cause of any negative thought or mood. Think of all of the pressure you have in your life or pressure you put on yourself.

Another type of pattern interrupt is…Shifting your thoughts:

Try to find a slightly better thought that you can write down next to the negative thoughts and use this list you made during the previous week to pick 1 thought to practice replacing for a week.

Write down this new thought.

Keep improving only this 1 thought in order to make a permanent change and bring it to arwareness.

Find “the next best feeling thought” that is slightly better than, “I am stuck in this dead-end job” or “My child is always making me late.”

For example, it could be:

“I am going to find something to make me feel better today at work.”

“I am going to give my child a few rules about the morning with rewards to see if I can get them more independent and ready on time.”

These are just generic examples.

Maybe you would feel better at work if you are looking for more jobs during 5 minutes a day.

It may make you feel more empowered to see if there are others opportunities out there.

The goal is to find thoughts that give you courage or power to change the situation and not feel stuck.

You will begin to feel more in control of your life after practicing pattern interrupts and replacing negative thoughts with a slightly better thought.

Stopping thought spirals will help you to be more centered and able to take new steps towards change.

Jill No Comments
Mental Health Skills

Journal Prompts to Help You Become Your Ideal Self and Feel Amazing Every day

You can decide who you want to be and how you want to show up to the world and to your loved ones. Building awareness of our thoughts and feelings is key in order to change them in a way that helps you feel happy and centered.

What if you could feel amazing everyday?

You can help shift how you feel with the following introspective questions to ask yourself. Read more to find out how.

Think of your ideal life and ideal self so you can be intentional with how you spend you think and react.

How would you act, dress, and respond to others and to life?

What kind of thoughts would your ideal self have?

What would your ideal self say to do about your situation?

Talk to yourself using how your ideal self would speak to you and have a voice of a kind friend, not one of judgement.

What would you tell your best friend or Mom to?

Who do you want to be?

You get to choose how you show up in life.

You get to choose who you will be and if you do not like something, you can change it.

You get to create a life you love.

Journaling and gratitude have been proven in studies to reduce depression and anxiety.

Even if you are not depressed or anxious, briefly writing down what you are grateful for (3-5 things) can improve your mood over time.

Journal prompts:

“What am I feeling right now and why?” and

“What feeling goes with the thoughts I had earlier.”

Ask yourself, “Why do I think or feel this way?”

“Is this a new experience or does it keep showing up?”

“What will I do about these feelings so they can be changed/transmuted?”

Reduce anxiety:

Try to find the cause and try to find a slightly better thought you can have that temporarily replaces thr anxious/worrying thought. Write it down.

Keep improving this thought either throughout the day or the week.

Make a “daily thoughts” journal.” The journal may include:

“What am I feeling right now and why” and “What feeling goes with the thoughts I had earlier.”

Ask yourself, “Why do I think or feel this way?”

“Is this a new experience or does it keep showing up?”

“What will I do about these feelings so they can be changed/transmuted?”

I hope some of these tips help you feel in more control of your life and to have thoughts become more intentional in shaping the life of your dreams!

It all starts with one small change at a time.

Jill No Comments
Mental Health Skills

Use These 9 Pattern Interrupts to Stop Anxious Thoughts

Pattern Interrupts: Identifying and Reframing Spiraling Thoughts with 9 Strategies

What is a pattern interrupt?

A pattern interrupt is a way to stop intrusive thoughts or habits in your life that may be repeating or causing you undesired outcomes.

  1. One of the first steps towards improving your life is becoming aware of your habits and patterns. Negative thought spirals can become a habit. Read on to find out how to become aware of your thoughts and strategies for creating more empowering ones.

How do we pattern-interrupt?

  1. Interrupt the thought. Think of a word like, “Stop” when you notice thoughts taking off and leading to more and more negative thoughts.

Any “what if” thoughts, or “I should” can be interrupted with listing things in your mind that you recently did well.

  1. Find 1 step that could improve your situation. Tell yourself:

You do not need to change everything at once. That would not be possible. The goal is to feel better right now and make 1 step towards a new change.

Making sure you make only one change at a time can help you form new habits without overwhelming you.

  1. Write down a list of 5 to 10 things you are anxious or worried about and list 1 or more action steps you can take. When I was worried about my Grandpa’s health, my action step was giving him a call or a visit.
  2. Start to take a mental or written inventory of what you do everyday when you first wake up to gain awareness of your thoughts and habits.

What’s your morning routine? It may be best to pay attention to this for a few days and write it down or take short notes as you go throughout your day.

The very first things you do when you first wake up can set the tone/mood for the day whether you are aware of it or not.

Become aware of your thoughts:

Write down a few thoughts you may have like, “I wish I didn’t have to go to work today,” or “Why can’t my boss stop micromanaging?” Or it can be automatic thoughts you have about your appearance, “I look tired” or maybe you have positive thoughts.

Write those down too. The key is finding what you habitually think and noticing patterns.

Our thoughts influence how we feel. Emotions are a guidance system. They are there to tell you if something is good, bad, or off. Emotions can guide you on what needs to change in your life and what is going well. The key is learning how to use emotions to help you. Sometimes you may not be sure what emotion you are feeling. That is why writing down your thoughts for a week can be helpful to helping you figure out what is causing bad moods, anxiety, or stress.

  1. Self awareness is noticing how you feel and think and why. Without being aware, you can get stuck in cycles and loops that keep repeating. You may keep having the same bad experiences and attracting the same types of people into your life. This can be due to subconscious thoughts, fears, and habits. We want to bring what is subconscious to the surface.

Sometimes we notice a slight lingering, perhaps a feeling of sadness, but are unaware of the cause. Writing down thoughts for a few days, (brief notes in your phone will do) can help you identify any patterns.

If something triggered you, where you feel angry, frustrated, maybe an antsy feeling, write down what triggered you.

You may have honked the horn at someone. Write down what the car did and how you felt. Maybe you thought they’d hit you and why do they drive crazy and endanger people or that they are stupid.

Then analyze this thought later when the emotion calmed down.

Analyze it without emotion. Try to analyze it with curiosity.

  1. Reframe what happened. Reframing is where we brainstorm other possibilities of what could have been happening. We only know our perspective and do not see what is happening in the other car.

Maybe the driver was late to work and if they are late one more time, they’ll lose their job. Maybe they spilled their coffee on them. They do not know you and did not personally attack you by cutting you off. You will notice times of day where people drive more recklessly. Is there a way to respond calmly and not let it ruin your day in the future?

The car is just one example. It may be your child frustrated you in the morning. Maybe they are hard to get out of bed and are making you late every day.

Then analyze this thought later when the emotion calmed down. Analyze it without emotion. Try to analyze it by using curiosity with questions like:

  • What else is going on my life that could be making me overwhelmed?
  • Could this reaction be related to something else?

Sometimes we are annoyed with our partner, but really we have a deeper problem either in the relationship or in our lives that is making us irritated by little things.

  1. Replace thoughts like:

“I’m stuck” with thoughts like:

“I am so close” or “I am on the verge of a break-through.”

If you have a very bad mood and negati thoughts, find a list of things that cheer you up (make this list ahead of time because it will help you when you are triggered).

Again, try to separate yourself from the emotions first.

9. Take a breath, write down that you felt frustrated by ____as soon as you have a chance. In the evening, read your notes from the day and think of why this is frustrating you.

Keep reading to find ways to change these thoughts and possibly the situation.

Only spend a few seconds during the day writing it down as it comes up so you don’t forget (a note in your phone will work) and 2 minutes at the end of the day.

Sometimes taking 5 minutes to yourself can do wonders when you feel very overwhelmed and stressed.

Jill No Comments
Mental Health Skills

Transforming Pain and Suffering and Understanding Those With Chronic Illness or Chronic Pain

Most people do not realize that pain and/chronic illness has two layers: the pain itself, and the loneliness that chronic pain/illness brings.
Is there a purpose of Pain and Suffering? Is there a purpose for it?
How can we turn our Pain and Suffering into meaning that better serves us and others?
This article may help someone transform their pain into a deeper meaning.
The goal of the article is not to educate everyone on all illnesses or offer solutions, but to offer understanding of what chronic pain and illnesses may be like so you can better support your family, friends, and community.
Possible Deeper Purposes of Your Suffering:
1. Empathy Expansion
This week I had 2 ER visits and it inspired me to talk about this topic. After being sick in the hospital on and off when I was in my 20s and 30s due to severe anaphylaxis (allergic reactions) and having to navigate my health, it taught me how to understand the struggle my Grandmother was going through when she explained to me that she had Parkinson’s Disease (understanding the depth of it really unfolded over time). I used to not know what it was like to struggle or suffer or go to scary appointments so if someone said something, I wouldn’t understand or know what to say.
I think many people who haven’t experienced hospital visits and tests would not really know what to say or think. The experiences I had allowed me to be there for my Grandmother and also comfort her in ways I wouldn’t know she needed if I had not been through some things myself.
It is important to not invalidate someone when they tell you something about their health or pain. For example, “You will be fine,” or “It is not that bad…”or “At least you ____ or don’t ____.” Being silent or ignoring what they said is also invalidating. Some people change the subject.
From the perspective of the person sharing, silence can convey a lack of care, interest, or empathy, making them feel unseen and their experience dismissed. This lack of acknowledgment can be deeply hurtful, especially during or after a difficult health situation when support is needed most. A simple acknowledgment like, “I’m sorry to hear that; I hope you are doing okay,” can make a significant difference in making someone feel heard and valued.
Some of the validating responses are:
“I can see that this is a lot to deal with.”
Legitimizing: “Your symptoms are real, even if the tests don’t explain them yet.”
Empathy: “That sounds uncomfortable and frustrating. I understand why you’d be concerned.”
Supportive curiosity: “Tell me more about when this happens so I can understand better.”
Partnership: “Let’s track this together so we can give your provider a clear picture.”
Respecting effort: “You’ve done a lot of work to monitor this.”
Safety‑anchored: “If it feels worse or changes suddenly, it’s important to reach out right away.”
After having chronic pain the last few years too, I realized suffering helped me have an idea of the isolation chronic pain can cause. I also met a technician at a CT Scan whose brother has Chron’s Disease and his brother went on to be a Gastroenterologist to help others with the same condition he has. We were talking about how isolating illnesses can be and it is hard to even tell someone the struggle and often, they don’t understand. No one wants a food restriction so if they mention they cannot eat something, it is likely for a good reason.
Try to see how any pain you had or a failure, a loss can have meaning and help you understand others. How can it help you respond to others who are suffering? Sometimes giving a deeper meaning to the pain is helpful because it feels the pain was not in vain or senseless. Turning pain intro transformation can benefit anyone whether you suffered a loss of a job or if you suffer from a chronic illness. Especially because chronic pain and illness feel so out of control. When we give meaning to our suffering, it can help us manage the loss we feel.
When we receive validating support from someone, it can make us truly feel seen and relieve some of the burden.
Illness, pain, injuries, etc can lead to judgment. People assume you did something to cause it and it is your fault. It leads to misunderstanding and isolation. That’s a different kind of suffering.
Understanding suffering can deepen compassion for others who feel unseen.
People with chronic pain, illnesses, and injuries most often did not do anything to cause it. There’s genes…a healthy diet does not cure everything. Exercising does not fix every problem. Accidents happen.
What if suffering isn’t a dead end, but a doorway into a version of yourseld that sees the world more clearly, more deeply, and more compassionately?
2. Resilience & Identity Shift
Online content mentions manifesting even in a way that places blame on a sick person as though they “manifested it.” Then we want to be better and not the “sick version” of ourselves and anchoring a “well version,” but ignoring actual physical issues or symptoms is dangerous.
Physical suffering forces you to set new boundaries and author clarity about who you are beyond illness. It’s not about glorifying pain, but about recognizing how it reshapes identity. Identifying with an illness can lead to a cycle perpetuating more illness. The mind has power. Ignoring illness is also not a cure.
Symptoms, pain and illness are data to tell you something is wrong, needs, change, correction, or even that your mind needs stress reduction to help in healing. Often medications are an aid and some see them as a crutch, but some are necessary for someone to live. There is misunderstanding and stigma associated with illness and medications.
Chronic illness and chronic pain can lead to having to change careers, stop working, and identity shifts. This is much to go through…to lose a fit body, abilities, appearance, career and pay, etc. These losses cause grief. Not all grief is caused by death or losing someone.
After losing my identity as a long distance, sponsored runner and musician, I had to find new interests, hobbies, and identities.
Identity and self-concept is something we as humans tend to create whether we mean to or not. It is part of the psychology of survival and helps the brain do automatic processes that aid in survival and habits. Habits are much easier than will-power and are created subconsciously, but other habits can be created intentionally. Our brains naturally make habit loops in order to save energy and willpower takes more energy than a habit. That is why we develop a self concept…it is partially due to habits, the brain preserving energy, and due to social programming that occurs as soon as we are born and receive a name. When we say we are a parent, that is an identity. When we are a runner or have a specific career, that is an identity.
With chronic pain and illness, you may lose your identity and it is important to make a new identity that makes you happy and proud. It will better serve you to have a new self-concept than to stay in grief. The future may hold recovery and the possibility of returning to old identities you desire too.
3. Humility Without Collapse
Terrible pain and illness is humbling. You look at others’ struggling after you experienced it yourself. Seeing people who cannot walk or run has a different lense after you realize the struggle it is to get dressed, go outside, or even look for anything in your house and a whole long list of things you cannot do when you have extreme pain. When you are not well, it takes all of your energy to go somewhere and to get reduced pain from medications enough to last a couple of hours. You may suffer silently in pain around others just to attend coffee or a dr appointment. It gives a humility, when paired with strength, that can be the difference being between broken down and being refined. You respect others and their struggles and recognize there are silent struggles and people who appear fine physically, but are struggling too.
4. Signal vs. Judgement
  You can treat suffering as data, not as a verdict. Symptoms and pain are data and signals. Signals can lead to solutions and problem solving. The deeper purpose of suffering may be to model a new way of engaging with illness: one that honors signals instead of internalizing judgements and looking for new solutions. Even trying new solutions can help you become more open-minded and you may see how one thing does not work for everyone. It gives you respect for yourself…for all you go through and also for all your body does for you and realizing you want to give your body the best.
You may experience judgements, but know who you were and are, and know that people simply do not understand. Many doctors may jump to judgements and conclusions and this can take you awhile to find cures, the diagnosis, etc if things are overlooked. Asking questions and requesting tests helps. Seeking a second opinion is best to not delay recovery.
For those trying to understand, asking your friends and family questions about their condition or day-to-day experience can help you get a better picture of what they are going through. You could look up how to better support someone going through an illness so you can be an ear, just be there for them, or know what to say. This prevents accidentally shrugging off something they are going through which can lead them to feel isolated.
It is hard to have no one know what you go through or how bad it is and no one to tell. Then when you do tell, to not be understood.
If you get a therapist, make sure they specialize in therapy for someone with chronic illness or they may make more judgements by accident and not be able to help. Some may say they have experience in therapy for someone with chronic pain, but make sure they truly are trained and specialize in it. A mental health practitioner has an is important job to help you stay safe and if they are not trained and understanding, it can lead to dangerous consequences.
5. Finding Alternatives to Your Previous Activities
Being judged by others and therapists reopening wounds by talking about past and current pain was not helpful to my healing. It taught me that reexperiencing emotional pain keeps you suffering the same wounds. It has been best for me to process pain and find forward action steps to let go and action steps towards healing. It helped me to focus on seeking joy and finding new things I can do. Through my chronic pain (I can no longer run daily), I focused on my mind…books, content, learning new skills all helped me during a rough time I had physically. New, non-physical hobbies really helped me when I struggled the most.
You can prioritize boundaries with others about their judgements and take forward action steps towards healing, making it through the day, finding new joy and interests, and solutions.
6. Thoughts to Anchor
Suffering doesn’t always mean you’re being “punished or tested.” Sometimes it’s the raw material for a new narrative: one where you become the person who can hold space for others’ pain without collapsing, and who can model living with authenicity, even when misunderstood.
I truly found it helpful to find ways to turn pain and suffering into a deeper meaning and using it to try to help others. The pain and suffering also taught me lessons and helped me grow. I wrote this hoping others turn their pain and suffering into something that can be managed. For those who do not know pain, to have a better understanding of what family and friends may be going through. Be kind because you do not know how much your kindness helped someone or what someone may be going through.
Pain is often invisible. Your kindness may be the one thing that helps someone carry theirs.
Jill No Comments
Mental Health Skills Reviews

Meaningful Compliments: Why it Levels Up Relationships When You Give Meaningful Compliments and How To Do It

How to compliment friends and family and why is it important to give compliments:

My Dad gave meaningful compliments that made us feel seen, like our efforts mattered, and who we are was noticed. These compliments lasted a lifetime. You never know what a boost your compliment will bring and how it can help someone in their life. He was the only person who told me I looked pretty and senior prom and he said my violin playing sounded professional at my university junior solo recital. These compliments remain long after he gave them and after his life.

How do we give a meaningful compliment?

Try to see the whole person in front of you. Notice what you love about your loved ones and put it to words.

Compliment their efforts and actions.

It does not have to be a long compliment.

Be authentic.

The smallest compliments also matter. Just telling them their “sweater and style is nice” also matters and makes their efforts feel noticed.

Be specific. Say what you liked about their presentation or article, etc.

Notice their character traits and compliment those. You could notice they are always a hard worker and pay attention to detail. Maybe they are always on time or very organized or have unique ideas and even say what idea you like that they have. Let them know.

Notice what they pour their heart into and find something nice to say about their work and passions.

These compliments may be the only nice and positive thing the person heard in weeks. The meaningful compliment can give them the boost they need to keep going in a hard project, feel loved, and thrive. It makes you valuable to your friends and families when you are giving them meaningful words.

Some examples of shallow compliments are “I liked your presentation” or “Nice shirt.” We can elaborate on the compliment to make it more effective. Say one thing you liked that was brought up on the presentation. Say why you like the shirt and maybe it is a good color on the person or flatters their frame or personal style.

Relationships in life help us live longer and strong connections support us.

Giving compliments will help build connections and making lasting impressions in someone’s life.

You do not realize the impact your words may have on someone whether they be negative or positive. Positive and meaningful compliments can truly fuel someone’s life and build self-belief.

In conclusion, meaningful compliments can boost self esteem, connection, and the resilience of the receiver.

People may think back on your compliment that gives them what they need to believe in themselves and keep going on a tough project or goal.

I dedicate this article to my Dad who would have been 64 years old today. I miss him and his compliments and he was one of the only people that made me feel truly seen and appreciated for who I am. His meaningful compliments and attention to detail made him irreplaceable to me.

Your meaningful compliments and noticing your friends and families are a deeper level will make you memorable and irreplaceable to them too.

Give it a go and practice giving meaningful compliments and giving compliments will eventually come naturally to you.

Jill 1 Comment