What Does “Letting Go Mean” and Tips on how to “Let Go?”

LETTING GO: What does it mean and how do you do it?

“Until you make your unconscious conscious, it will rule your life and you will call it fate.”-Carl Jung.

I kept hearing the advice: let go. What does that really mean?

The best answer I heard is if you have let go of the past experience, you relieve yourself of its pain. We will discuss ways to process the pain later in this article.

If we experience something in the past we did not like, why would we want to experience it many times again by thinking of it when there are so many other experiences and possibilities we can focus on?

This is why letting go of the past, past memories and thoughts is important so we can move on to what we desire to experience.

What we focus on persists. “Where your attention goes, your energy flows”-Tony Robbins.

Letting go is no longer dwelling on what could have been or on what happened, what they said, or how it felt.

Letting go is living in the present moment.

There are many possibilities of who we can choose to become and experiences we can have if we focus on what we do want from life.

Write down 3 to 5 things you want in life (goals or can be places you want to visit or your dream house or making a family for example) and a simple action step towards achieving it.

Just get started with small steps and it can lead you to the next step.

When someone asks you what you do, who you are, or what you like, you do not usually tell your past struggles upon first meeting someone. We usually respond with what we are currently doing in life.

Why would we then choose to keep identifying with a struggle we had as a child or earlier this year or last year, or 5 years ago, etc? We could say we are divorced forever or we can let go and say we are single. We do not tell someone, “I scraped my knee when I was 10 years old” or tell others how we failed as a child.

We have moved on and let go of some of those experiences and it helps us if we let go of all of the painful experiences by living in our present story.

It is okay that you went through something tough or made mistakes. Maybe an experience still feels terrible and needs healing.

There is still hope for a new future. One failure or many failures does not mean you will not succeed. Failures does not mean you cannot have a good future.

Trauma does not mean you are damaged or cannot have a good future.

Not letting go though…that will ensure you are miserable.

At a time in life I was faced with grief and loss of family members, I tried to continue on normal activities and see friends. I did not realize how to handle my overwhelm.

It took me awhile to learn that I can and should tell friends and people that I will need to take some time to myself for awhile and will not be available.

It is okay to set boundaries like that and even better to express it ahead of time rather than avoiding making plans or cancelling.

Give yourself time and space to feel like yourself again…no matter what you may be facing. If you don’t feel like you can be fun or have fun, don’t force it.

Allow yourself to take the time you need to heal. If you need support, ask. No one knows your struggles unless you open up and usually people want to help.

Reach out to a therapist if you need to heal from trauma or grief. It can help to have a professional to talk to. Most often, our family and friends do not know what to say about tough topics especially if they have not experienced trauma firsthand.

Living in these past memories causes pain. It shows you have healed when you notice longer talk about the painful experiences.

Journaling can help put the pain to rest. It is a way to get it out of your body. You can tear it up when you are done writing it. You do not want those thoughts circling.

Let go of past failures and pain. It does not mean you will not succeed in the future just because you did not succeed in the past.

The past experiences can teach you how to redirect your focus or what you need to change to succeed. Many people fail many times before they succeed. We just hear of the success and do not see all of the struggles that led to their success.

If you have many ideas and are afraid to act, let go of the past failures.

Find one simple and easiest action step you can take towards creating your new idea or towards your new goal.

Life is meant to change. It is guaranteed it will change. As life changes, we also change whether we notice it or not. Every day, we are gradually changing and becoming a new version of ourselves.

Ask yourself what you did today. Are you making micro steps towards who you want to be or did you take a series of small actions that are a vote for someone you would not want to become?

For example if you want to be healthy, did you drink water today or did you drink sugary drinks? Did you eat nutritious foods?

It is okay to have a treat, but how often are you having a treat? Are you working towards your goals or how are you spending your time? Did you exercise or sleep enough?

Every small action adds up over time and is a vote towards who you are becoming whether you are become who you want or not. We all face new beginnings and not stay in the past, but if we do not bring awareness to what we are holding on to (memories, past stories and past definitions of who we believe ourselves to be), we will stay stuck living the same year over and over for many years and call it a life.

Let us be intentional about the life we want and then create it.

Joe Dispenza (author and public speaker) says we get addicted to negative emotions and self pity without even being aware of it.

If someone or some place drains you, see if you can take a break from it or replace it with something positive.

To let go, ask yourself:

What in your mind is limiting you and keeping you at this level?
What belief do you have that you can only be at this level, job, situation etc?
How did you respond to life and show up the last month and the last year?
Do you feel defeated, uninspired, frustrated?

Shift from “I should” and “I wish” and “Maybe” to “I will” and “I can” and “I get to.” “Should” and “I wish” and “Maybe” os language of failure and reinforcing negativity and doubt.

Start changing the language that influences your limiting beliefs.

“Self doubt is the killer of dreams.”

Shame, guilt, fear, anger, and frustration block attracting wealth and joy. Let go of any guilt for wanting more or for having more money or you will block your success and wealth.

I recommend looking up Joe Dispenza or his books and the Dr. Rangan Chatterjee podcast and check out below:

Lewis Howe’s Podcast episode “You are 36 minutes Away From Never Being Broke Again.”